All my life there has been an emptiness that I can’t seem to fill. A reflection that is blurry, a gap in time, a blind spot in my mind, a black hole in my soul, a piece of me is missing and it takes a toll. All my life I have been looking, searching for something to fill the emptiness. I’ve tried conventional and unconventional methods; people, things, places, but nothing seems to do the trick and leaves me feeling sick.

It’s not religion. Deep inside of me I know that there is more to it than meets the eye, but I don’t fantasize about a bearded men in the sky or believe in a gospel tainted by the hand of men. I guess when it comes down to it, if I had to believe, I would believe in love and all of its manifestations that surrounds us. As evident in nature and the life force that drives it, regardless of its brutality. Evident in the cosmos and how it’s reflected in the atoms. Evident in our ecology, biology and geology.

It’s not the love of a parent. Or luck that is missing. It’s not health or wealth. Although I could use more of the latter, but I know that’s not what matters. Something is missing which I can’t seem to find and I know that I am running out of time. I have a strong conviction that something is there but I don’t know where, and it has me running scared. Somethings is astray and its got me frayed. Something is missing in my life and I’m not sure that I will find it before I expire.